Francis: On New Year’s Day, I found (carefully stored in a long-unused file drawer) a 1981 R.E.M. 45 RPM single—released on Hib Tone Records, and signed by the entire band. Bassist Mike Mills included a personal note to Martha: “Hi Martha — 404-546-0365”. Seeing as how I haven’t felt the need to play it in … Read More
Author: Francis
Reductio Ad Absurdum
In January 2009, the Birmingham News reported that the Jefferson County Commission was seriously considering a sewer system Non User Fee—to be paid by residents, you guessed it, NOT on the system. In response, my good friend Tassos Touloupis authored the press release below. When it (shockingly) didn’t generate any coverage, I brought it to … Read More
QUOTATIONS
“Writing is easy. You just sit at your typewriter and concentrate until beads of blood form on your forehead.” —George Axelrod, 1922 – 2003 “If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of Elements of Style. The first … Read More
Dome And Dumber, or Return To Larryland.
There is a pivotal scene in the 1984 mockumentary classic “Spinal Tap”—the comic history of a band’s slow decline from second-rate psychedelic hucksters to fourth-rate thud-rock has-beens. The band’s members are discussing ideas for rebounding from yet another career low, when someone roars, “I’ve got it!—Let’s bring back ‘Stonehenge!!’” (an atrocious rock opera Spinal Tap … Read More
How Are You Taking Advantage Of The Economic Slowdown?
If you’ve been around the proverbial block before, you know the economy’s bound to get rolling again. Eventually. So what are you doing, in the meantime, to position your company for long-term growth? Here at the international corporate headquarters of Hare Communications, we’re revamping our brand. Starting with a new core messaging strategy. One that’s … Read More
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! (In Praise Of Billy Mays)
Of the three celebrities who died last week (including Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon), the one I’m going to miss the most is Billy Mays—our generation’s greatest TV Pitchman. I make no apologies. As a glorified Snake Oil Salesman myself (as are, deep down, all ad-folk), the most obvious reason I admired him was that … Read More
What’s Your Brand Got To Do With Recruiting?
Everything. (This column was written for Randall-Reilly‘s January, 2011 e-newsletter) Having served my first truck-firm client in the early 1990’s, I’m often surprised by how much companies will invest in their recruitment advertising budget, without first investing in clearly defining their core branding strategy. With the likelihood of CSA 2010’s cumulative point system forcing a … Read More
FMCSA Asleep At The Wheel?
(This column was written for the November, 2010 issue of Randall-Reilly‘s RPM For Truckers magazine) Coping With The New HOS Rules. We’ve already used this space to point-out the one unintended consequence of CSA-2010’s points system that seems obvious to everyone except the FMCSA: Forcing companies to replace a lot of good veteran drivers with … Read More
What To Look For In A Trucking Company
(This column was written for Target Publications, November, 2010) If you’re a driver considering a change of employment, the words of Samuel Butler (1612 – 1680) still ring true: Look before you leap. Look At Their Equipment For starters, you can tell a lot about a trucking company by the kind of equipment they put … Read More
CSA2010 Generating Mixed Reviews.
(This column was written for the October, 2010 issue of Randall-Reilly‘s RPM For Truckers magazine) Details of the impending CSA2010 regulations are making their way into conversation among truckers these days, and it’s safe to say not everyone is enthusiastic. One Southeastern-based driver—whose comments were offered off the record at the request of his employer—says, … Read More